God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
I don’t remember when my Mother hung the Serenity Prayer on her bedroom wall. I do remember it was after she joined Alcoholics Anonymous.
She realized she had to make changes and couldn’t do it on her own. Looking back, I see how much she loved us. When I was 13 and angry, it was just one more embarrassing thing about her.
The prayer became a part of my subconscious.
I don’t remember memorizing it, but I find myself repeating this prayer when I start to feel the past creeping into my thoughts. And when doubts begin to paralyze me. Or, I am in a situation I cannot control.
Let’s take a closer look at the prayer.
Serenity
Serenity is peace and a state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled. Peace is not usually what a person in a situation needing change is feeling. However, to accept what I cannot change, I first need to feel the love and peace of God.
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 5:1 NIV)
Acceptance
Accept the things we cannot change. Have you ever told a child their favorite toy broke and was beyond repair? I am sure the child did not want to accept it. “Fix it. I don’t want it broke.”
All of us have something in our lives that we want to change. Something we have no control over. Here are some of the things that I struggle with and continue to pray for the serenity to accept.
The Past
Do you struggle with decisions made in the past? Decisions resulting in sin, mistakes, or regrets?
I do.
Sometimes thoughts about past actions and choices make me angry. Or sad and filled with anxiety.
There is no rewind in life.
There is only moving forward.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t make amends for the past. You can ask for forgiveness. You can apologize.
And you can forgive.
You can pray for serenity to accept your past. And you can remember that you are forgiven and loved.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6,7 NIV)
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7 NIV)
Other People
Do you try to change others?
Or wish that you could?
Your spouse or children? Your friends or co-workers? The person driving the car in front of you? I have.
It doesn’t work.
Trying to get someone to change for me takes more energy than accepting them as they are. Fighting causes bad feelings and broken relationships.
The best you and I can do is accept people.
All people.
We can love them. We can forgive them. We can help them. We can try not to enable them. We can live our lives in a way that may influence them.
Best of all, we can pray for them.
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:12,13 NIV)
Life Events
Divorce. Job loss. Serious illness. Abuse. Tragic accidents. Death of your loved ones. World events.
Accepting that bad things happen is hard.
How can you not be angry at God when your life is upside down?
But these are the times we need God the most. They are also the hardest to accept.
When my mother died shortly after my divorce, there was a lot I wanted to undo. Words I wished I hadn’t said.
Words I wanted to say. Actions I regretted. Most of all, I didn’t want her to go. I needed her.
And God took her home.
I didn’t want to accept this. I was angry. I became depressed. I missed my mom more than I ever thought possible.
Eventually, I prayed.
I prayed for peace and acceptance. I prayed for serenity to accept that she was gone and I would see her again. I prayed to the Holy Spirit to fill me with the grace of God.
This year was the 17th anniversary of her death. I still miss her, but I celebrate her life and am joyful that she is with her Savior and out of pain.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16 NIV)
Courage
Acceptance is not complacency. It is not turning your head and ignoring situations that you can change.
It is not giving up and not trying.
I know that I can change my attitude, my words, and my actions. But I can’t do it alone. I need prayer and faith.
Courage is often needed to change the things we can. It takes courage to step out of our comfort zone. When we do, we make changes in our communities and the world. We help people in bad situations. We support our church and charities.
We show others the love of Jesus through our actions.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)
Wisdom
The prayer ends by asking for wisdom to know the difference
To understand what we can change. And what we cannot change.
This understanding comes through prayer. We pray to know if this change is God’s will.
We also pray for the courage to do His will and make difficult changes.
King Solomon left us many verses in Proverbs about wisdom. When I have trouble making decisions, and doubt and fears cloud my mind, I turn to the following verses.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5,6 NIV)
Pray for guidance to make changes that honor Him.
What areas of your life are you trying to change? Let us know in the comments.
